Saturday, May 17, 2014

Triumphs and tribulations of the untrained runner.


My body needs help. It doesn't want any exterior attention nor does it want to boost the ego nestled within. My body just wants my own help to get back in shape. I realized I needed a big lifestyle change when simple tasks like getting out of bed or taking a flight of stairs became herculean and ugly. I would feel drained of energy when I just woke up and desperately needed a nap at odd times of the day to "recuperate". I started my "moving mantra" on April 16th. I won't call myself a runner because I most certainly am not one (yet). When I started out 25 days ago, I was 165cm, weighed 87 kilos, with a clothing size UK 20 (EU 48). So in fashionable modern day terms I am fat and medically, I am 20-22 kilos overweight. Today I've completed a month dedicated to a new lifestyle with 16 days of  official running. I weigh exactly the same but I feel great!! I'll tell you why. I look much slimmer, my clothes fit better and my body is at its most energetic in this decade (no exaggeration!). Here's what my experience has been so far and I hope it help others who are planning to start running.
Week 1: The first tribulation 
I have accepted that I am not a jogger nor a runner but I'm determined to train my body. The most excruciating physical exercise I've put my body through is the walk to the boulangerie to pick our daily baguette. So yes, I am a complete newbie. But hell I'm ready to exercise! Yeah run like the wind! And my first mistake was right here. Not determining at the onset exactly what my body is capable of doing. Sure I feel energetic and enthusiastic, I thought my 26 year old body is a machine and I'm capable of anything. Well it's NOT. Exercise is a process. I began without reading even a little about running, warm up, stretching and hydration. I put on my fairly new Skechers Flex Soles on the first day and started my "walggning" (walking-jogging-running at the same time). Sure enough my one hour of walggning was a nightmare. Nearly every minute, I had to stop to soothe the shooting pain in my abdomen. My hamstrings and calves were ready to explode. At the end of one hour, I gladly returned home and I decided I'm never going to run again. This is too tough for me. Over dinner, I realized I'm not an idiot and I'm capable of rational thought. Why not see what these pains are and how I could deal with them.

So turns out, I wasn't dying. The pain in my abdomen is called a side stitch.Which generally comes about when your body is pushing its limits and is also linked to your breathing and hydration. Moreover, Pinterest is an amusing way to find information and inspiration for your warm up. 
  • First and foremost, drink LOTS of water, but stop about 2 or 3 hours before you exercise to avoid a pissing spree. 
  • I read that it's imperative to stretch your muscles before AND after running. Before your actual run, do a brisk 5 min walk. 
  • After your run, eat a small snack. 
         After all the info, I decided to give running another chance :)
You can't go wrong with this one. Drink a lot of vodka water.

During the first week, I walggned for three consecutive days. That was my second mistake. Even after the warm ups, stretching and hydration, you must give your body time to relax. On the fourth day, I couldn't get out of bed and I needed another three or four days to recover. My hamstrings were sore as hell and my calves seemed swollen. Going down a flight of stairs was an ordeal and I had to go sideways, one foot at a time. Then turn to the next side so I could even out the pain in my legs. I was perhaps the most amusing sight for passengers waiting at Gare du Nord. Lesson learnt. Do exercises on alternate days and let body recup on your rest day. 

Week 2: A triumph in disguise
I'm still in the mind frame of weight loss. I'm exercising solely to shed those kilos. I have a meltdown after looking at my weighing scale. I gained a kilo. Isn't that just depressing? But my closet was secretly hiding my triumph. I didn't see the change in my body but my clothes did! They started to fit really well. In fact, just after a week of walggning, I dropped a size! Size 18 = Size 44 EU. This may not seem like a huge achievement for many, but for me, being stagnant at a certain size for years, this was a moment of glory! 


After some research, I understood that weight loss won't be apparent immediately, because the body is a fairly cunning bastard machine. It adapts really quickly to your new rhythm. Thus, if you don't alternate your running speed, exercises, muscle training, etc, your body does not have any challenge. But more importantly, in my case, I learnt that I wasn't losing weight but dropped a clothing size because running builds up muscle in place of fat. There are of course other reasons which you can read here. So here's the deal. Stay away from the weighing scale for a while. Just keep running. Buy yourself a measuring tape, write down your measurements or simply just track how your clothes fit. Make that your silver lining. Smile.

It was also during week 2 that I sprained my ankle but I decided to continue. Brave girl that I am. I still felt sore after my runs but this was a different pain, it seemed less excruciating. Around this time I decided to invest in proper running gear. I have to shamefully admit my third mistake, I used a regular bra for exercising. This is sacrilege for regular runners. When I look back, I can't believe my boobs went to boob jail for two weeks. Sigh. Along with moisturizing and using sunscreen, wearing the right sports bra is perhaps the best thing you can do for your body on the exterior. I bought mine on Amazon here.
This is literally the best sports bra I've tried in my life. I have a full bust and it was a pain to walggn while wearing a normal bra. This is called the Shock Absorber-Multisports Sports bra. Honestly, women with a big bust line shouldn't hesitate to buy it. My boobs are secure and hardly even bounce while running. Another advantage is the comfort. This sports bra sits really well on the back and sides. No more feeling like your rib cage is being sliced and no more ugly red marks when you take this bra off. 

Week 3: I actually love running. Outside. 
You'll notice it yourself once you begin to run seriously. Weight loss becomes your last preoccupation. For as long as I can remember, I had never run in public. Huge mistake. Mainly because I felt "people are looking at me". Or other silly excuses would crop up like "my boobs are too big and bouncy" or "I don't have the right shoes" or even "there's so much pollution in the French atmosphere".
In the third week, I discovered my walggning was helping me to break these barriers. Every time I put on my shoes and went out the door, I felt like a warrior. I started to care less about the people looking at me. To be honest, people are so preoccupied with mundane things, they don't consciously notice the overweight indian jogger in front of them or even if they did, French people couldn't care less about said person. And with my boob situation, shoes and air pollution under control, running started to become a feel-good exercise. As a personal exercise, each week I run, I dedicate the effort to rebuild the destructive path of "fat-hurt". All fat girls will know about fat-hurt: a school teacher who wouldn't let you participate in a singing competition, a PE teacher who didn't let you play volleyball even though you were good at it, the mean girls in school who made fun of your muffin-top, a tailor who mocked you because you were "box-shaped", a theatre play you couldn't be part of because you didn't "fit" the part? And so much more. Running walgnning, is helping me slowly rebuild my confidence. Sometimes I wonder if the hurt I held on to was really worth it, I mean was my fat really the problem or were these people just morons? As the days advance, I'm leaning towards the latter :)

Around this time I also found some really good apps on the apple store to help me run better. Some of them are music apps and some are fitness apps. Most of them offer free trials. I use Runkeeper to track my routes, my speed and motivate me to try different kinds of sprints. I've stuck to the basic version for now and you have a few "fitness plans" available for free. Here you can train yourself to run from 0-5k in a certain period of time. Or simple set caloric or kilometric challenges. Again this is purely a subjective addition to my running routine. Monsieur S. runs with me sometimes and thinks it's stupid to run with your iphone in nature. Hey, whatever floats your boat! 

Week 4: Uh-oh! 
So I got so confident about my running and the lack of muscle pain. I decided to skip a few days. Big mistake. Respect your routine as much as you possibly can. My four days of lethargy and pigging-out brought my body right back to square one. Well almost. I could still run a longer distance than the débutant days but I had to put in much more effort and my muscle pains came back. So voilà, make sure you chalk out reasonable challenges for yourself. So you can train your body to meet them reasonably well. 

Week 5: Slow, steady, still at it..
Just entered my fifth week of walgnning. To be honest, I check almost every other day to see if my clothes fit. I have a skinny pair of jeans from 2009 that I aim to fit into. I'm anxious to reach the day when I'll button it easily without my entire abdomen spilling over. And that day's a long way off but I'm not depressed (as I would be 4 weeks ago when I wouldn't do any exercise, pig out and still be super depressed that jeans didn't fit) because I know I'm working my as* off to get there. This Friday night, I joined a couple of girlfriends for drinks and then went to two clubs in Paris. It was an interesting experience. These were the places I avoided fervently to avert the external perspective of self. And another momentous occasion for my running regime. I had more confidence while dancing, interacting with people and some flattering glances came as a bonus :)

This t-shirt I found on Pinterest represents exactly where I am right now. Nowhere close to being a runner, but definitely way ahead of those pitying themselves on their couch. I hope my débutant running chronicle will help others. I still have to tackle my diet because I need to establish a healthier eating plan and will do so in the days to come. 

So in a nutshell, running is awesome. If you have two legs and a pair of shoes, just get out of the door. That's the major part of the tribulation you tackled right there. Don't worry if you're fat, if your fat jiggles all over the place, if you sweat in the worst of places, if people look, if your ankles hurt, DON'T let that stop you. Just go.

All image credits: @Pinterest 

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