Here's why no one will marry me!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Don't make me a match,
Don't find me a find,

Don't catch me a catch

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Stop looking through your book,

And don't make me a perfect match.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,

I won't bring the veil,

because you won't bring me a groom,

I'm definitely not slender and pale.

No one will bring me a ring 

for I'm not longing to be,

The envy of all I see.

That's right folks, I'm not longing to marry like the girls from Fiddler on the Roof. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I'm against the idea of marriage, I just don't feel there is a man out there who could handle me and my quirks. The girls from Fiddler on the Roof were so graceful and well-groomed. I on the other hand, am quite a perfectionist at my work but everything else around me is in shambles. On rare many occasions, I have OCD and I get all obsessed about cleanliness and I'll even clean someone else's mess up. But on most certain days I procrastinate, I work on Bohemian time, I am not organized, I have no routine nor any particular dietary pattern. No man would want to marry someone who has only omelettes, pasta, sandwiches and chocolate muffins in their culinary repertoire. 
So today is December the 9th, 2010. It's nearly the end of the year, everyone is eager to break for the holidays. Everyone is in a festive mood and preparing earnestly to welcome the spirit of Christmas. I on the other hand have been ignoring the "spirit". I have not decorated the tree as yet, I have not put up the star and I have not made an effort to reorganize my life in view of the coming New Year. Here is my present day scenario aka Reasons why I won't ever be married. 
P.S: Proceed at your own risk. 
P.P.S: Risk being disgusted by certain images, eg. unwashed frying pan.

On waking up today, I realized my desk is not the most organized place in my house.

 Neither is the floor! I still haven't cleaned up the mess I made while preparing the wreath for my students. Yes those are leaves nestling among my folders and lesson plans.

 My dirty laundry has been dirty for three weeks now and it's lying on top of my black snow boots.

 After moving to France, I've become a caffeine addict. But I also haven't been scrubbing the coffee stains off the mug now, have I?!!

 Sigh. I was supposed to change my toothbrush two weeks ago. 

 Before you enter the sitting room, you won't be greeted by a warm rug. Rather you will run into my well used and much loved ballerines. 

 In my kitchen, there is a week's pile of dirty dishes to be done.

 And near the sink, there are two garbage bags and two (one month old) pizza boxes to be thrashed.

 You don't want to marry someone who currently has a jam jar, a jar of olives, two tomatoes, four slices of ham, one cheese box and packet of Goa sausages in their refrigerator.

 And 3 sauces. And on further scrutiny, you can see how the Dijon Mayonnaise is missing it's bottom but has somehow continued to be an integral part of the fridge door. 

 I made an omelette last night and today morning the pan was foul. The oil had frozen in the cold and the spatula had stuck itself to the frozen oil.

 I am so clumsy with the simplest technology, I have managed to break the Venetian blinds in my sitting room.

 And somehow I have no problem going through life with never closing one side of the backyard screen doors.

 I own only three necklaces and they double up as wall decorations.

The third necklace with black beads is also hanging on the wall. I also spend an annoying large amount of money on scented candles.

This is my dressing table and I have no makeup other than eyeliner and waterproof mascara.

 I would love to entertain guests but I can only find one dart for my dartboard. 

 This is where you will mostly always find my bag. 

 This is also where you will always find my iphone. After the price I paid for it, the floor is the last place one would expect it to be. But do I have the time to care today?

Finally, my habit that pisses off most people. Pathological photography. I love photographing everything. Even the mess I currently am surrounded by today (shameless, I know). I'm certain if I were ever married, the pre nuptial agreement would have a clause stating no photography in the presence of humans.  

And voilà mes amis. I may have presented a very tainted side of my character today. I wonder if other people have days like these too, when they just let everything go to the dogs. I would have loved to be different but I guess this is a part of me I have to come to terms with. I try really hard to keep my desk in order and to do the dishes everyday but that just doesn't happen! The only time I am really neat and tidy is when I'm in love! Yes. Love brings out the best in me. I immediately leave behind this immature rebellious character and turn into an orderly woman. I become so obsessed with my surroundings and I even buy fresh makeup and indulge is grooming escapades just to please the other person. I learn new recipes and I make the dinner table at least five times before we eat. Then again love for me is all about the other person and not myself. The person who lives in the mess above is me. And as quirky and disgusting that person can sometimes be, that person will not lose her identity. I know this sounds strange but I actually work well at a cluttered desk and with everything at hand. I know very well that certain things are just not acceptable. Like the repulsive frying pan, the dirty dishes and the dirty laundry. Those things are just plain unhygienic. That is a part of my life I am genuinely worried about and will starting sorting out asap. So that's that for now. I'm off to load a huge pile of (overdue) laundry into the washing machine. I'm will keep you informed about how Operation De-clutter is coming along! :)